The lacuna

Hello, Cris!

During the last meeting, you spoke about the “lacuna”, which is an essential subject for the work God has entrusted us with. I, for example, had so many lacunas that I looked like Swiss cheese, lol.

I lost my father at the age of 9. Without God’s direction, my mother left everything behind and kept us hidden by moving around from state to state, in Brazil. She was afraid my father’s family would do something to her and try to keep us because of our inheritance. This is why my mother had to work hard to support me and my sister, who was 6 years old at the time. I grew up hearing: “Go to school, get a job, earn money and never depend on a man or family.”

Without God and without wisdom, my mother, a 27-year-old widow, with two daughters and no family, focused on making more and more money to give us the best, but this caused her to miss out on our childhood and adolescence. I was responsible for my sister, often afraid someone would report us to Child Services and we would be taken to a shelter. After all, we were two children living alone. So, I learned that to keep people from thinking about reporting us, I had to be “tough”.

Questions like: “Where’s your mother?”, were quickly answered (with a mean look): “She’s working!” “What time does she come home?”, the answer (with an even meaner look): “I don’t know, why? Do you want to leave her a message?”

I had to pay the household bills, go grocery shopping for the month, resolve any problems at school, take care of my sister…

My mother traveled for 2 to 3 months at a time. When she came home, she only stayed for 2 days and then she would have to travel again. This changed us much that when she came home, I did not feel completely comfortable. It seemed as though a distant relative was visiting, so I didn’t quite understand the concept of being a family.

When I had an encounter with the Lord Jesus, He removed all the traumas, inferiority complexes and transformed my interior. However, there were things He could not teach me, because it wasn’t His role to personally do this, but He used people to do so. Things such as: Be loving, take care of myself, speak without being rude, among other things.

In the Church (the Youth Group and Assistants), I found people who helped me with these things. For example, an assistant once said to me: “My darling, you’re a young lady now, so you can’t wear a skirt without shaving your legs!” LOL, I was scared to death!!! I thought I was going to cut myself terribly if I shaved my legs. Another friend told me: “Your eyebrows are huge, let’s fix them!” She did them herself; they came out all crooked, but at least they looked a little better.

My sister and I seemed like two “wolves”, raised in the wild, LOL.

We had every reason not to amount to anything, but God had mercy and sent mothers, friends and sisters who helped us out a lot.

Even with all the glamor the world tried to offer me, I did not pay attention, because unfortunately, before I met Jesus, I had a taste of its gall. I knew everything in the world was a lie, deceit! I knew that I had mothers, friends, sisters, a family that loved me in the Church. God used so many things to fill these lacunas that He had to restore me in every way! This is why I had so many problems in the beginning of my marriage, but God helped us overcome everything and we came together perfectly.

Today I know that all the difficulties were God preparing us to be part of the Altar. I moved so many times that I don’t even remember how many houses I lived in. I went to so many schools that my transcripts are hard to understand. For me, when people say the Church is like a mother, it has such a strong impact on me that I can’t even explain. My Father took me in, loved me and transformed me, but He also gave me the perfect mother who took care of me and continues taking care of me through wonderful people!

Today, my sister and I are married to men of God, and we are privileged to serve God on the Altar. My mother was transformed! She was so traumatized by marriage and family, but today, she is married to a man of God and they are both assistants in Miami. Every year they make an effort to travel to Brazil on their wedding anniversary, to celebrate and participate in the Walk of Love. She once told me: “If I knew that being married to a man of God was this good, I would not have suffered so much.”

This is why what you said during the meeting is so true: “What for some may be normal, for others it’s a revelation!”

When I had the privilege of joining Godllywood, God put the finishing touches that were missing, and He continues to do so… lol!

Today I know the importance and the difference it makes to fill the lacunas in the lives of these women. It is essential for them to remain in the faith, because it is part of a life in communion with one another, which Jesus taught us.

My story is very long, but I just want to declare that I didn’t have anything, nothing at all, and God gave me everything. He picked me up from the dust, filled every little gap, each lacuna in several ways. And every day, I want to do the same for the souls He entrusted to me.

The work that the Holy Spirit has brought us through you, and now counts on each one of us, is extremely important. They are learning things that they wouldn’t learn anywhere else, just like what happened with me.

May God continue using you and your entire family to transform lives, just like mine was transformed!

Thank you for everything!

Thank you for teaching me so much and for being one of my mothers in faith!


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