Living an appearance

Mrs. Cris, How are you?

I’ve always wanted to talk to you, so I couldn’t miss this opportunity! I know you receive many messages every day through social media, right? However, I had the privilege of personally giving you this letter!!!

I am writing to let you know how much the Universal Church has and is contributing to my growth as a human being, especially in regards to my Salvation! And you play a fundamental role in this development! LOL

The truth is that everything, absolutely everything, was set to go wrong in my life, because like thousands of girls, I grew up in a broken home! In my case, the damage was internal, just like the dirt that is hidden under the rug, you know? I grew up in a quiet town, in a nice house with my parents and sisters.

My parents were very well-respected by everyone in our town, especially for their looks and level of education, guarded by values and principles, which they purposefully passed down to us. You will understand later why I have written these words in bold!

Growing up, we always had many clothes, shoes and toys. My mother would dress us in our finest clothes and parade us around town, where we were known as the “Nenem’s daughters “.  My Dad was the chief of the civil court, a position he was really proud of. He was well-respected and admired, not to mention that we had financial stability.

But, you know, for a long time I did not see this financial stability, because our father was always in great debt, owing to moneylenders. However, whenever there was a party in our town there he was entering into more debt, buying a lot of clothes and shoes to “parade” us through town! My dad always loved my Mom, but he was too insecure, to the point of neglecting her. He never gave her a compliment, so mom made up for his lack of acknowledgement outside our home, because everyone in the street recognized her beauty.

We grew up in a home where I had to be the best student, the best in everything, a reference. A true example in behavior, beauty, I was always told that I had to stand out! This was the root of being enslaved by the appearance of being something I wasn’t. My mom spent hours and hours making customized book covers for us, our books had covers with our pictures, etc. and because of this we were often ridiculed at school. We were so harassed in school that we found out our mom left us because our classmates started making jokes. Yes! It was true! Mom left us to come live in São Paulo.

I came home and found dad looking like a zombie with red eyes, troubled and without saying a word! I was about ten years old, and I had to become a mother to my sisters! Dad forbade us to talk to mom for about two years. During that period we suffered with our mom’s absence, we were teased and gossiped about and we also had to deal with dad’s depression, who showed resentment and despise for my mom whenever he could. I remember that we where forbidden to speak to all of our relatives on my mom’s side! And my sisters and I obeyed!

Once, when my mom came to Paratinga, Bahia (my hometown) to visit us, my dad grabbed me by one arm and my mom grabbed the other. Both were pulling at me, arguing about who should stay with me. I think that’s when I noticed the chaos the devil caused in my family. As a teenager I decided to live with my mom in São Paulo so I could go to school. I got my degree in law from PUC – SP. During that time, my mom abandoned me about four times, with each new stepfather, she left me to live with him.

When my sisters came to Sao Paulo, we each started our own home with lots of resentment in our heart. Our Dad’s advice was strongly instilled in us: “Study! Work and be independent! Make your own money! What matters is that you have money in your wallet, because men are worthless and unreliable!”

It’s not difficult to guess what happened, right? All our lack of affection (mine and my sisters) forced us into frustrated, problematic relationships especially because we sought to fill that void with a companion. We were in unhealthy relationships! I, for example, was engaged to a man just because I thought it was nice that his family sat at the table together for breakfast. And even after being humiliated, betrayed, I remained in this relationship, because I didn’t want to return to the reality of my home.

Mrs. Cris, you can now understand why it was impossible to get married, be happy, have principals, and solid family values; this is, to be in the presence of God today! Did you know where I found the mom I never had? The Holy Spirit used the Universal Church to give me a mother in the faith. Through your posts and meetings, my void was filled! Today, my greatest pleasure is to be a housewife! Since I studied Language Arts, after joining Godllywood, I began to write and inspired by your teachings, I began to write a blog.

And that young woman who aspired all her life to have a professional career, a good job, because she thought that meant happiness; today wants to be what God placed inside of her. Today I evangelize with my husband. I am taking classes to become an assistant and I feel in my heart the desire to serve on the Altar. I know there is an age requirement, but I also know that for God nothing is impossible, and that He can use my husband and I wherever and whenever He desires, right?

Thank you, thank you and thank you for being an instrument of the Lord Jesus to teach us that to receive is a consequence of who we are, and that is in the Hands of God! As far as we can be useful, count on us!

May God, our Lord, bless you abundantly!

Kisses! And as you always teach us, in faith!

PS: I forgot to tell you about two things I conquered: besides being an evangelist, I am a volunteer in the Rahab Project along with Mrs. Carlinda and it has been a blessing! And I recently graduated from Godllywood!!!

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