It seemed impossible for me to change

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I always considered myself an orphan child. Despite living with my parents, it was as though I did not exist to them. They were constantly busy with everything and everyone, except me. For this reason, I grew up harboring lots of resentment towards them. I hardly spoke to them, which led me to think that I didn’t need them. Gradually, this feeling turned into a toxic hate. This situation became a challenge: kill my parents. However, the question was how and when…

As a teenager, I made new friends who were involved with Satanism. I thought this was awesome and decided to delve deeper. They declared to be the Antichrist, wore different kinds of symbology, had their own particular musical styles, used drugs, were promiscuous and, of course, had a lot, a lot of influence on me. I quickly became tangled in this adventure, learning everything that came with the “lifestyle”. Shortly after, I made a blood pact with Satan. And with every ritual I learned and practiced, my focus was always aimed towards growing. Every achievement was an incentive to want more from my “good friend”, the devil.

That’s how I considered him. Since I never had this in my own home, I convinced myself that he was the family I always wanted. On the other hand, the devil convinced me that family unity was a myth and while, up in heaven, “They” needed Three to make One, he was just one and that’s it. Things reached a point where I did a ritual to be invisible and believe me: I was convinced of this and lived this way for a long time. I performed rituals to hurt a lot of people, it became a hobby.

The truth is this just happened to be an exchange of deceit between us. I did all these things to get people’s attention, trying to prove that I was super strong, and the devil tried to demonstrate being a loyal friend. The devil was with me at parties, where I was surrounded by large crowds, but I couldn’t get rid of the feeling of loneliness. The devil was with me late at night, in the cemetery, but I could not get rid of the fears and traumas. He claimed to be my comforter, but I could not get rid of the constant conflicts in my mind and the hellish nightmares. To me, God was a myth and according to the satanic bible I kept on my nightstand, He was the most unjust person on the face of the Earth. At the same time that I was taught not believe in God’s existence, I was also taught to hate Him.

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One day, I was feeling so troubled that I decided to wander the streets, and that’s when I ran into a family who, noticing there was something strange about me, came over and said things to me that I had never even heard from my parents. They were from the Work of God, and while that pastor’s wife explained to me who God really was, I realized that I was the one being unfair because I had never given Him the chance to prove He was a true Friend. It was difficult, but I surrendered to that invitation and sought my deliverance. It seemed like I was not going to make it, because I was constantly being threatened by the devil. The difference was that this family wasn’t the only ones fighting for me, now many people in the Church were fighting for me.

Today, I am an assistant of the Church and spare no efforts when it comes to helping others, regardless of their problems. I speak of God with conviction; anyone can turn his or her life around, because mine literally changed. The Holy Bible is the book that rests on my nightstand. My daily ritual includes surrendering my life on the Altar. My eternal Companion is my God, He is my best Friend!

Jamisson Lima

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