I used to be just one more person in this world! Limited vision, a closed mind, I only lived for myself. What I turned into in the world was all in vain, because I was unhappy. I was totally empty, hollow; I had no hope whatsoever. I had terrible nightmares every night, “ghosts” would scare me and would whisper things in my ears, always right before I went to bed.
I felt insecure—had a serious inferiority complex. All I wanted to do was die, but my suicide attempts were failures. The path I was following led to nothing. I slept around, was addicted to alcohol, and was approaching the end of my life.
People gave me advice, but I never listened, and always did what was wrong—to punish myself for all this I would cut my body. The emptiness, depression, the world, my friends, the problems, the voices—all this made me worse day by day, with a greater urge to just die.
This was how I arrived at the Força Jovem Universal (youth group in Brazil)—lost, discouraged, unhappy, and destroyed both inside and out. In the youth group, people around me believed in me and offered me help, but I didn’t know what to do—I had a lot if questions. What did letting go of sin entail? …or abandoning what is wrong and following Jesus? What was an encounter with God? …or baptism in the Holy Spirit? I didn’t know… but I wanted them. I wanted to change my life; I wanted to know this God that everyone talked about. I wanted this and I overcame. Letting go of sins was by biggest obstacle because many times I had to say “no”, and it hurt. But I did it; people helped and so did God.
I was all worth it and today I am a new person, and brand new young lady. The big difference was when the Holy Spirit came over me. The emptiness that brought sadness, the desire to die, my friends, the drinking, the sleeping around, were all replaced with the love and mercy of God. Today I am baptized in the Holy Spirit and have been raised as an Assistant. I remember everything that I went through, the hole that God pulled me out of, and I am ready to help people who are going through the same thing, and to tell them: “It’s not worth it!”
False happiness comes to all if us. I thought I was happy until I found Jesus. We all know what’s going on inside of us; we know whether or not we are truly happy. Look inside and be honest with yourself… Something was missing inside of me—in truth, everything was missing. Jesus calls us every day, but the choice is up to each one of us.
My name is Isabelle Natal, I am seventeen, and my life changed when I found Jesus at the Universal Church.