An article was written based on research done by what is known as a scholarly journal of over 100 women involved in the pornography industry, who are compared to the same amount of women who are not. It based its claims on what the women had to say about their feelings and opinions about various aspects of their lives. The conclusion of this journal was that these “actresses” have a better quality of life than the ordinary woman not involved in pornography.
One question was to rate their level of self-esteem. Porn stars seem to love themselves and think very highly of themselves in comparison to the rank and file of other women. They claimed to have happier lives because they earn well, they get more sleep and have frequent sexual encounters.
The journal came up with this study to debunk what they consider to be a myth that women in this industry are damaged individuals and victims of childhood abuse. Their goal is to tout a new, revolutionary concept that this kind of career is actually healthier and better for you. Porn stars damaged? Why, no! They are the new standard of quality! And because these women say they’re happy, therefore they are happy – why would a porn star lie?
After years of counseling and caring for families, couples and women, from all over the world, we can categorically say that this supposed research is nonsense. Not only that, but it was done purposefully to encourage more degradation to women, to marriage and indirectly to everyone.
Why would they say then, that they are so much happier and content with their lives? Women who have been deeply wounded and deprived of a loving home as they grew up can easily fall into this trap of seeking out affection through promiscuity. If they are surrounded by enough people to praise and glorify what they do, they can easily fool themselves into believing that this is what they really wanted all along, that this is their way of self expression.
They desperately want to be happy and valued, so if it’s offered them through money and the adoration of others, no matter what the motive, they’ll take it.
A member of our church in England was once a prostitute for very high-end clients in London. She told us about the money, the jewelry, the clothes, cars, expensive gifts, hotels and restaurants that she would frequent, and how she and the others in her brothel boasted about their great lives, compared to those pitiful ignorant wives of the clients that they entertained.
“But you know,” she confessed, “None of us were really happy. Everyone felt lonely and disgusted with
themselves, and that’s why so many turned to drugs and drinking to deal with the emptiness. No one was a true friend. We hated ourselves, so how could we care about anybody else? All that big talk about how happy we were and how much freer and luckier we were was just talk to hide our real feelings. I’d see some of them break down and fall into suicidal depression, but others just kept up the act and got tougher and meaner. When I finally left that life, no one cared and in fact they were glad to have me out of the way…”
This is the reality that we have seen with the women we’ve known caught up in this kind of life, from strippers to prostitutes to even “actresses” of this nature. And what do actresses do best? They pretend to be what they’re not. Good actresses in theater and film can leave their character behind when they go home, but the poor women involved in this industry often cling to a fantasy life, pretending to be happy to mask their emptiness. They’ve found a way to make a comfortable living off of being damaged.
God created us to enjoy – not just confine ourselves to, but enjoy – purity, respect, and love for His ways. The fact that there are so many unhappy women who are not in the porn industry doesn’t mean that they are living the way that God intended, otherwise they would be much happier. Women, men, anyone who decides to live a life in obedience to God finds far more happiness, success and fulfillment than those who don’t. The world, even with all of its problems and evil, becomes a brighter, more joyful place because you are always in His light. Romantic relationships are intensely more pleasurable because they are based on honour, sacrifice, faithfulness and commitment, and they grow and develop as years go by.
This strange phenomenon became true for Je’Nai Curlin. Even though she was brought up in church from the age of 3, she disliked herself and felt unfulfilled. She had drifted so far from God’s original plan, that it was time for a radical overhaul. Read her story on the next page.
“Growing up, going to church regularly was part of my routine. My mom was the one who brought us (my brothers and I) and as I got older I would still attend church services regularly just to please her, although I had absolutely no desire of being there. I became addicted to pornography and diet pills, as well as dating several guys at the same time. Those were my main issues. I had some other smaller ones in between, like low self esteem and anxiety. You might ask why did I do such things if I grew up in church? It was definitely not because I enjoyed doing them, but because I was trying to fill a deep void. I desperately wanted to be happy; to have peace and joy, so I would watch pornography for temporary pleasure, but afterwards I felt worse, dirty and ashamed!
I tried diet pills in the hopes that they’d help me love myself. I found myself very ugly and worthless, so I would take the pills day in and day out. The tablets were so big that I could barely swallow them, but I wouldn’t hesitate to take them believing that they would make things better. They didn’t, so I wasted money for nothing. As a consequence to the low self esteem and lack of self love I began to dress very revealing clothes that attracted the attention of several different guys. Talking to these guys made me feel good, like maybe I wasn’t so ugly after all, maybe there was some hope for a future boyfriend, oh how I always wanted one, but then talking to these guys took a totally new toll on me. One guy started asking to see what I looked like, so I “innocently” took a picture of myself smiling! But that’s not what he wanted, he wanted much more than that. I felt so weird doing these things and I would tell them, “I don’t want to do this”, but then they wouldn’t want to engage in conversation with me anymore. That made me feel horrible like I had done something wrong, so I would just send the picture even though it made me feel very uncomfortable and ashamed. There I was snap snap snap, taking nude pictures of myself and sadly that became a habit. At times I was so desperate for attention that I would even offer to send the pictures without them asking. I got to the point where I just didn’t care. I felt used by all these men, because I was not speaking to boys my age, I was talking to guys much older than me. I felt like I was stuck in a deep hole. What was I to do now?
I remember hearing of a spiritual boot-camp during one of the YPG (Youth Power Group) services and saying to myself, “I have to do this!”. So I took part of this boot-camp full force. I started taking the services seriously and applying what I was learning. By attending every Sunday and Wednesday I learned how to put God first in my life and was able to overcome all the insecurities. Coming Fridays for deliverance was also crucial, so I could be completely free inside and out. Naturally, I began changing the way I dressed and got rid of the piercings I had, because I realized that I didn’t need to dress that way to feel loved and valued.
Now I can truly say that I am pleasantly happy and at peace, I no longer cry when I’m alone, I am completely free from the addiction to diet pills and pornography, I don’t have a low self esteem anymore, I love and value myself. I found true joy and happiness from the inside out. Today I am an assistant in the YPG helping others that suffer as I suffered and I couldn’t be happier!”